Right now, we’re kicking off this summer time’s installment of Motherhood Across the World! First up is Mallika Viegas, who lives in Playa Carrillo, Costa Rica, together with her husband, son, and canine. Right here, she talks about the way it feels to stay in a sleepy seaside city, be careful for the neighborhood crocodile, and witness infants being publicly cherished…
Mallika’s background: Mallika was born in Goa, India, and moved to Canada together with her household at age 11. Her husband was additionally born in Goa, then immigrated to Canada, however they didn’t meet till after school. “We share some associates in Goa, and after we first went again to go to collectively, individuals have been like, ‘Actually? You progress to Canada and also you meet this man?!’” she says, laughing. Their son Freddie was born in Toronto, and Mallika is now a author and podcast host. Her mother and father moved to Costa Rica nearly a decade in the past, and throughout the pandemic, Douglas, Mallika and Freddie packed up and formally relocated to affix them. (“I at all times joke that they’re making an attempt to flee me, however I hold following them,” she says.)
On early mornings: The solar rises at 4:30 a.m., and the birds are very, very, very loud. As new mother and father, we have been anxious about Freddie’s sleep, so after we first obtained right here, we went mad shopping for blackout curtains and sound machines. In the meantime, a chook was constructing a nest exterior his window! We finally gave up; Freddie now wakes up at round 5:45 a.m. Our days begin early, they usually finish early, too.
On seaside jaunts: We go to the seaside earlier than breakfast each morning — rain or shine. It’s a 10-minute stroll from our home, and after one too many Canadian winters, we will’t not go. Irrespective of what number of deadlines you may have, there’s nothing like getting the strain slapped out of you by a wave at 6:00 a.m. Within the evenings, many of the city congregates on the seaside. Generally Dougie and Freddie can have recent pineapple or passionfruit juice on the seaside whereas I surf; the subsequent day, we’ll swap. Youngsters get on boogie boards tremendous early, and also you see a number of eight- and nine-year-olds simply killing it browsing.
On weekends, it seems like nearly each Costa Rican heads to the seaside. In the summertime, the highways are literally redirected to have all of the lanes going in the direction of the coast on Saturdays, after which again into the cities on Sunday. It’s a must to take inside roads or different routes if you wish to go in the other way.
On watchful eyes: When a toddler faceplants on the seaside, there’s at all times an grownup choosing them up — it doesn’t matter whose child. There’s an enormous emphasis on everybody looking for one another. Though individuals don’t actually scold one another’s youngsters, strangers will inform your little one ‘cuidado’ (‘watch out’), and I’ve undoubtedly been instructed that my child wants socks!
On the neighborhood crocodile: Freddie is obsessive about recognizing the native ‘dada-do’ (his manner of claiming ‘cocodrilo,’ which is crocodile in Spanish). Normally, in the event that they’re close to seashores, crocodiles are picked up and relocated inland, however this explicit one has laid eggs, in order that they let her keep. We frequently see her after we cross the bridge to the seaside. We thought ‘look ahead to crocodiles’ was simply a type of issues individuals stated, however, lo and behold, there she was in all her big, prehistoric-esque, toothy glory.
On taking good care of wildlife: Costa Rica has strict laws that prohibit the pursuit or seize of untamed animals, so interacting with wildlife like monkeys or parrots is unlawful — and that features taking selfies! Usually, wildlife leaves you alone, since you’re doing the identical. Howler monkeys hand around in the bushes round our home; one even sat on our balcony one night, which was unimaginable. However that’s the place the interplay ends. You do you, monkey.
Hanging at house.
On friendliness: While you’re driving by city, each single particular person will say hi there or good morning — even from their bicycles. We really feel responsible if we miss waving at somebody! Strangers will cease to talk and hand Freddie a flower or rock they’ve discovered. Additionally, one factor that’s vastly totally different from our Indian tradition is how publicly affectionate persons are. Right here you see each youthful and older {couples} on the road kissing, hugging and cuddling. Doug and I are fairly affectionate, however it is a complete different stage. I like that Freddie is rising up round that.
On bumpy roads: Roads and sidewalks are sometimes badly cracked, due to rain and mismanagement. In smaller cities, driving is hit and miss, so most individuals simply stroll on the highway. Carrying your child is the simplest manner you may step on and off the highway in case of visitors. Additionally, strollers are very costly as a result of they’re imported. We’re obsessive about our Veer Cruiser, which was our ‘deal with yo self’ child merchandise earlier than we left Canada. The wheels are nice on each bumpy sidewalks and sandy seashores.
On cherishing infants: Individuals appear to have infinite persistence with infants — even crying ones — in eating places or on public transit. Strangers make foolish faces or clucks of consolation or provide to carry your fussy child whilst you’re finishing a transaction. At our common car parking zone, if it’s raining, the attendant will hurry over with an umbrella and will get Freddie out of his carseat. Waiters deliver me glasses of water, unprompted, once they discover me breastfeeding on the desk. It’s so good to have that public help.
Additionally, male kids participating with infants will not be one thing I usually see in North America. However on the playground right here, boys will come as much as Freddie and be candy and affectionate. Listening to somewhat boy on the market go ‘que lindo’ (‘how cute’) to Freddie melts my coronary heart.
A restaurant in San José.
On the place youngsters belong: In Toronto, there’s not a number of area that’s for each adults and youngsters. However right here — even within the capital metropolis of San José — eating places will usually have a playground subsequent to the tables. I imply, why can’t you drink a flowery cocktail whereas your little one goes down the slide?
Testing the recent springs.
On outside adventures: Virtually each pickup truck has a pipe that appears like a snorkel. It took us ceaselessly to determine what it’s for. Seems, it’s to retailer water for consuming or showering whereas on outside adventures. Biking, trekking, and tenting are all extremely popular, and Costa Rica has unimaginable waterfalls, rainforests and volcanoes. We have been blown away after we went to the recent springs — you’re principally in a scorching tub in a waterfall. Freddie splashed round like he was within the bathtub.
On meals: Costa Ricans are sometimes shocked once I inform them that Indians usually eat as a lot rice as they do. Rice is a large staple right here, and we now have some form of rice dish day-after-day. Each home and rental can have a rice cooker. Freddie is obsessive about gallo pinto and usually eats a complete container of rice and beans with a scrambled egg and recent tortilla. On Saturday mornings, we head to the feria, a farmers market that winds alongside the paths of a park. We purchase greens, fish, essentially the most scrumptious rye bread, kombucha, and every kind of crunchy issues that I wouldn’t dream of spending on in Toronto however right here they’re a fraction of the value.
Freddie’s first birthday, quarantine version, with my mother.
On being an immigrant: I used to be anxious about being an individual of shade immigrating to yet one more nation, however Costa Rica is extra multicultural than I had anticipated. It’s not good right here, however I by no means get requested why my English is so good, and Costa Ricans have additionally been capable of pronounce my title on the primary attempt. Each. Single. Time. Which may not sound like a lot but when I had a greenback for every time somebody stated ‘Monica?’ or simply fully butchered it over the previous 20 years, I’d be rolling.
On on a regular basis struggles: As a result of we’re immigrants from India first, the downsides that many different immigrants or expats expertise in Costa Rica don’t impression us the identical manner as a result of it’s actually worse in India. Forms and crimson tape when doing paperwork or tough highway infrastructure are likely to trouble individuals. Additionally, Costa Rica is ranked as the most costly nation in Central America. Whereas I miss a number of issues in regards to the ease of parenting in North America, having to faucet into my useful resource mind (no malls, no play facilities, and many others.) has been thrilling and scary.
On making associates: Making associates has been difficult. We’re making an attempt to satisfy locals — in addition to becoming a member of expat communities — however discovering individuals whereas not talking fluent Spanish isn’t simple. I’ve needed to go exterior of my consolation zone. I’ve gone on a pair awkward ‘first dates,’ and couple good ones as effectively, however I’m undoubtedly craving a dialog with depth that may solely include time.
Freddie on a wet stroll along with his sidekick, Pablo.
On the wet season: Earlier than we moved, my dad was like, ‘Simply so , it rains lots.’ The wet season is nearly half the yr; the place we stay, it often rains round 3:00 p.m. and continues till night. My mother and father are within the mountains, the place it might probably rain nonstop for days on finish. You might want to embrace it; in any other case you’ll be depressing. The trick goes out day-after-day, which is one thing we realized throughout Canadian winters. Everybody has a jacket, even the canine!
General, I really feel like I’m reliving my childhood, and our nine-year-old canine is spending his senior years in one of the simplest ways doable. Once we discuss how stunning the nation is, Costa Ricans will say, ‘Effectively, have you ever met a number of Costa Rican immigrants in different international locations? No? It’s as a result of we don’t depart.’
Thanks a lot, Mallika!
P.S. Extra Motherhood Across the World posts, together with Japan and Norway and France.
(Pictures courtesy of Mallika. Crocodile photograph by Santi Nuñez/Stocksy.)