For the previous 18 months, I’ve woken up each day able to do what I all the time do — hug, smooch, and take care of my daughter, Ella. However this weekend, our 547-day streak of togetherness is coming to an finish. I’m flying to Anaheim to throw my greatest buddy’s bachelorette occasion, and whereas I’m loopy excited for all of the buddy time, there’s a giant a part of me that’s….

FREAKING. THE. HECK. OUT. (!!!)

Earlier than changing into a mother, I might have by no means pegged myself as somebody who’d stress over leaving their child. Once I was 5 months pregnant, I used to be already googling, ‘When is it okay to spend the primary night time away out of your child?’ Throughout middle-of-the-night feeds, I’d daydream of my husband Max and myself, stepping contemporary off a aircraft in Germany or Thailand — no child in tow.

However, right here I’m, taking a look at my laptop display screen with fats, scorching tears in my eyes. Even fascinated with spending three days with out my daughter makes my chest tighten and palms sweat.

In my head, I know this time aside will likely be good for each Ella and me. As a substitute of 6 a.m. wakeup calls and poopy diapers, I’ll be taking a much-needed parenting break in Disneyland, spinning in pastel tea cups with buddies and consuming all of the churros my coronary heart wishes. And Ella will get one-on-one time together with her dad, cruising to the park in our 1965 Mustang, and spend time together with her grandparents. I do know we’ll each get by means of this weekend unfazed.

However regardless of this mental information, can somebody please inform me why all my maternal instincts are on excessive alert? And why, after a latest telephone name with the bride-to-be, I used to be each buzzing with anticipation and feeling SO unhappy.

I’m the primary in my buddy group to have a child. I don’t have anybody to show to for recommendation, and I really want some. So, I’m hoping to ask…

What was your first journey away out of your baby like? Something you want you had — or hadn’t — achieved? This jittery momma is all ears!

P.S. Joanna’s first journey with out Toby and a humorous anxiousness trick.