As a 60-year-old girl who has skilled anxiousness in some type for the reason that age of six, it’s been an intense couple of years.
Up to now two and a half years, I’ve made the choice to fade out of a profession that I cherished as a result of it was turning into harder to do each day as I obtained older (a tough truth to face).
I started to pursue my lifelong dream of writing, and arrange my web site and weblog, Life Stability After 50. I did this shortly earlier than the world shut down with a worldwide pandemic. That weblog and its group of girls was extra of a godsend than I may have imagined.
This spring, my husband and I bought a seaside dwelling which is popping into a way more concerned challenge than we had been prepared for. Not an enormous downside, I do know, however disturbing nonetheless.
And two of my grandchildren had been identified with Kind 1 Diabetes inside months of one another.
I’ve been doing quite a lot of reflecting – the occasions of this spring on the heels of the pandemic did one thing to me – one thing that’s arduous for me to place into phrases. Particularly the prognosis of my two grandchildren. This prognosis made me upset, apprehensive, and grateful all on the similar time.
It additionally made me check out how I method every thing.
And on the impact my anxiousness has on each single factor I do.
I dwell, general, a joyful life. However my anxiousness robs me of the flexibility to be current within the second and totally expertise the enjoyment in what I’m doing. I could possibly be swimming with my guffawing grandchildren and be worrying about time, canines, others within the household, my husband flying, or why my toe hurts. The listing goes on and on. I by no means ever run out of issues to fret about – actual or imagined.
It saddens me to say that, in my complete life, I can’t consider a time or a joyful event the place I used to be totally current.
And whereas I’m not too previous for something I actually wish to do, one factor I AM too previous for is to proceed to rob myself of the enjoyment in these moments.
Final 12 months, I created a program for the ladies in my group who had been desirous about redefining after 50 indirectly. I launch this program quarterly and this previous June, this system was scheduled to roll out. I despatched one electronic mail to my subscriber listing and stopped.
Usually, I get tremendous enthusiastic about it. I really like my program and am happy with it!
However one thing was totally different this time.
I despatched out the primary electronic mail about this system. And that was the one one I despatched.
It simply wasn’t feeling proper this summer season. I didn’t must roll out my program simply because “it was time.” I didn’t want so as to add one thing else to the combination in my world to distract me from being self-aware.
This summer season was going to be about wanting inward. And being current.
It requires fixed self-awareness. Reminding myself every time I begin worrying about one thing that hasn’t occurred but, to drag myself again into the place I’m.
It entails issues like:
- Taking an hour or two AND a ebook in the course of the day and sitting by the pool with out worrying about what else I needs to be doing OR what time it’s;
- Sitting with my dad and mom having fun with a glass of wine for the month that they’re right here WITHOUT worrying about time or dinner;
- BEING within the second. Feeling the grass below my toes, smelling the rain, snuggling my grandchildren, sitting outdoors and laughing with my husband;
- Taking as many moments as I presumably can every day to consider and marvel at all the issues that I’ve to be thankful for;
- Being current on this group and in my content material creation.
Eliminating that is means simpler stated than performed, however consciousness that it is a matter is step one. As I’ve been engaged on this, it has amazed me how fixed my fear is. And a lot of the issues that I’m worrying about are very probably NOT to happen. It has been actual work to cease these ideas. Nevertheless it’s occurring! Slowly, however absolutely.
For many people, that is our largest distraction – the factor that almost all prevents us from being current in any second. I’ve been making it a degree, at any time when attainable, NOT to have my telephone proper at my aspect. It distracts me from participating with the individuals round me in addition to from the work that I’m making an attempt to do within the second.
I’ve heard from most of the ladies in my group with whom my wrestle has resonated. It’s been validating, but saddens me, too, that this appears to be so widespread amongst us. It’s not too late to show this round.
Do you’re feeling that you just wrestle with not being current? In that case, how does it present itself? What kinds of issues have you ever tried to treatment it?